Sry I called you an 8
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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