I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Randomize
