I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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