Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
