No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize