i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
