no, he came in my armpit
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
