And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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