handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
