I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
