The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
