last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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