You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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