Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I checked into jail on foursquare
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize
