And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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