Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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