The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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