Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
