I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
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