he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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