Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Dignity is for republicans.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
