Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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