He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Houston, we have a blender
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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