Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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