Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
