Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
We need to get me chipped asap
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize