I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
