Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
