4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
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