You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
