There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
pray to the hookup gods
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
