She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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