I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
