I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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