He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
