So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
