guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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