This is not my ceiling
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
