My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I don't think brook has ever known best
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
