It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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