Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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