I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
