3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
