she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
