Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
found the other keg... it's in the tree
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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