I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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