Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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