Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize