The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
