so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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