Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
