yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
