No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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