She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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