So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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