just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
