oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
