I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
