flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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