My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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