Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
