She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
